Can Love Last…… As a couple psychotherapist this is a question I have asked of myself and heard asked from couples I have worked with over the years. Exploring this has opened up felt experiences of security, safety and certainty from being loved and desired as well as the risks and vulnerabilities to rejection, humiliation and loss. As a couple… Read more →
As a couple psychotherapist I often hear couple complaints about each other as a manifestation of an unhelpful symbiosis. Imagine this is a stage play and you are the director and your partner is the actor. You are directing the actor and the actor is trying to meet your expectations as the director. The one is dependent on the other… Read more →
Signs of discontent In my blog http://www.signaturetherapy.co.uk/im-in-a-relationship-get-me-out-of-here/ I described some ways of being in a relationship that Psychologists label as symbiotic, co-dependent, undifferentiated, fused or enmeshed. Dances of hope, despair and stagnation All four patterns work with each partner being, usually out of their awareness, in roles that when combined make the system work as one unit. This unit,… Read more →
Pre-conceptions Like most psychotherapists I’ve spent many hours during my training undergoing my own therapy. I assumed that knowing about the model I was being trained in provided me with a ‘head start’ in knowing about myself. I was expecting my therapist to take up a ‘teacher’ role and tell me where I was going wrong and how to… Read more →
You’ve changed! Couples are angry and often ragefully angry and upset and see the root of their difficulties with their partner. Underneath their complaints about each other, the common and universal dilemma they present is “How can I be the person I know I am and be with you the person that I fell in love with?” Each will complain… Read more →
Living with Depression and Anxiety If you’ve ever felt like this for a prolonged period then you will have experienced the debilitating dark stuck place of depression and/or anxiety. This is a place where a person cannot either stimulate themselves to an up-beat sense of well being or self sooth and dampen down from a heightened over anxious state. Maybe… Read more →
Have you ever lost weight only to put it all back on again with a bit more besides, making you heavier than you were than before you started your diet. Do you feel fear or panic when you reach your target weight or imagine yourself without your overweightness. Do you find yourself eating in secret away from others in your… Read more →
I found this clip on YouTube and was feeling nicely relaxed at the start but by the end I was pretty much on the ceiling! Are You At War With Your Other Half? Maybe you recognise yourself in this warring couple. The intensity of this drama is extreme and makes good comedy but what isn’t funny is that many relationships… Read more →
Fiona Brewin B.Sc Hons MBACP (Accred). Diploma Counselling and Psychotherapy
